The Art of Conversation

Why aren't we having conversations anymore?

I’ve been in a social situations as of late where I find myself being talked at. I'll ask a question, and then that person will go on an uninterrupted diatribe. Fine, I guess. I asked a question. But then I will receive no questions in return.

When I was dating, I assumed it was a habit for self-absorbed men. But lately, I’ve noticed women doing it, too. Why? Have we forgotten how to speak with one another? Do we find ourselves so interesting that we must only talk about ourselves and ask nothing in return? Are we spending so much time on our phones that we forgot that human interaction takes skill? Self-awareness? Curiosity?

Listen, I am not perfect. I am sure I do this shit, too. But I try really hard not to. I find people interesting. I want to know about them, what they’re thinking, what they’re feeling. Until they start talking at me. Then I could care less. I search desperately for a pause in their diatribe, of which there is none, and then I am exhausted. I leave the conversation deprived of energy and honestly, a bit resentful.

“Why didn’t they ask me anything?” “Do they not find me interesting?” “Do they not care?”

My therapist would probably tell me to address it in the moment, but what am I going to do - interrupt and say, “I noticed you’ve been going on and on. Do you mind if I get in a word?”

Can you imagine? I mean, typing it does feel kind of good. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. But what are they going to say? “Wow, Jeanie’s a real bitch, she actually wanted to talk during our conversation.”

Whenever someone is a good conversationalist, man, they really stand out. You’re asking me questions and offering thoughts and feelings in return? I don’t feel like I am trying to merge onto a highway of information bombardment? What a dream.

Again, I am sure I have close friends where I have sucked their energy dry with my non-stop rants and raves. Thank you for listening. No one else is.